how about a quick reflection on the semester? here we go:
- intense 18-credits semester: i really thought that i wouldn't do it in the beginning, but somehow "someone" convinced me to keep my PM class, and hence making it a 18-credits semester. to be honest, i really think that it wasn't too bad. in general, work load is not too heavy, aka manageable, its just when it came to midterms time, it became really difficult to put time to study all of them, especially when they come in waves. the result of the semester is that i actually had the same GPA as last semester, well technically, it's a little bit higher, though it wasn't that good in the beginning. the interesting thing is that the classes which i expected not to get A actually got A's, and the classes which i expected to get A actually got B's... i wonder why.... (i didn't work as hard as i should have throughout the semester, DUH!) but it definitely had taught me how to rely on God when time is crunching and i really couldn't do everything, and He has been faithful throughout the semester, providing guidance and wisdom to get through it. and i really think that this situation matches to the verse from matthew 6:33 - But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all things will be added to you - which i'm gonna talk about next.
- heavy involvement in fellowships: i committed to various fellowships this semester, even to the extent of kind of leading in certain circumstances. though my mindset was not completely right in the beginning, God has slowly revealed to me the truth that i knew about from long time ago which i have forgotten. jim has once told me that under any circumstances, God should always be the priority. before i am a student, a daughter, a sister, or a friend, i am a Christian, a follower of Christ, a slave to his righteousness, a helpless child who marvels at the cross. my identity is found in Christ alone. with that saying, God's kingdom should always come first, while at the same time, we should still do our best in different roles that God has assigned to us. image a tree diagram, i think that the idea of being a Christian should be at the top, branching off to different roles that God has given us the responsibilities to steward for. i'm not trying to be proud or prideful about this, but every week throughout the semester, i went to all but one kcm ff, every chesed, all praise team practice except for those david led by himself, all kcm large-group, all except one youth friday, most of church praise team practice (until i have realized my new calling from God, which i will talk about it later). i know some might said that this is ridiculous and overloading, but to me, it has been a joy to actually have fellowships with brothers and sisters everyday. many times, i had gotten encouragements and motivations from God through them when i felt stressed, depressed, overwhelmed, discouraged, throughout the semester. besides the satisfactory grades that i got this semester, i think the great amount of peace and joy were definitely the greatest blessings from God, and i can truly say that i'm satisfied in Him.
- realization of a new calling: about half way through the semester, i think God showed me a new calling for me in His kingdom. i realized that i wasn't as passionate in leading praise with others as before. don't get me wrong, i still love worshiping God with music, but i think that i enjoy worshiping God as part of the congregation more than as praise team. it actually took me a while to realize the wrong response that i had with the new calling. i spent at least about 3 months to realize that i should trust in God's calling and leave behind the old calling, which i actually worried for all those time that no one would take my spot or people might not know how, etc. around the time of kcm retreat, God revealed to me that all ministries should all in theory based on God's power to sustain and grow, and the ministry is continued on without problems, we should be glad because it has been God who has been sustaining throughout instead of our own power. oh yea, i never talked about the new calling. lately, i have been convicted on the spiritual growth of my fellow sisters in church. i really hoped to be able to help them grow in Christ, if not disciple them, which i'm still lacking a lot in knowledge, wisdom, and guidance from God. so i need to pray more about it to see how God is calling me to go about this.
- struggles in the battles of fighting self-center: you can actually refer to the last post that i had if you want more details about things during the semester, but i think it has been a trial for me to learn something from it, to look onto God at all times, because as soon as i take my eyes off from Him, i will stray away, whether its to my own self or to other people. it is still an ongoing battle, and i realized that a lot recently. i think maybe its summer and i have just staying at home and doing nothing, i'm being pulled again in the the whirlpool of self-pity, if its not blaming others at times. either way, i feel like it has been destructive for my friendships with others, i would regret a lot at the end, thinking that i'm just being stupid and hurting myself and others at the same time, and that's because i took my eyes off Christ. and then i saw this verse yesterday from proverbs 18:1 - Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment - just feel like the first part is referring to what i have been doing when i feel self-pitying. i really should discipline myself more in spending time with Him and getting to know Him better, i'm really lazy these days....
- counting unforgettable blessings
- God has been blessing me so much throughout the semester. besides the very awesome peace and joy at all times and the satisfactory grades, the love from my church always blows my mind because though its far from the perfect love from Christ, it resembles parts of it, and its already so amazing! just imagine how much great is God's love for us!!
- the understanding from my parents and the continuation of improving relationships among my siblings have also blessed me a lot. when i think about how much time i have spent outside of home, i don't think i can have the same amount of patient and understanding for my kids, which i'm really thankful for because though God is using me outside of my family, i know that i haven't been trying my best to be a God-pleasing daughter to my parents or a sister to my siblings.
- another thing is i'm amazed of how much more patience God has given to me and slowly growing through many situations and trials, especially in terms of time-wise waiting. a lot of people have been telling me that the 5 months i'm spending in HK is really long, to me, it really is not that long. its true that it might be hard to wait for something that you can't see, but there is something different when it comes to waiting on God's timing, it just very assuring to have that, i think that's why it's called trust and having faith.
- a recent blessing would be the internship that i got from the department of transportation of the federal government. halfway through the semester, i already stopped expecting to get internship for the summer since i got rejected by many companies. but during the week of final, i got a call for interview with this private engineering firm, which actually went pretty well, though they wanted juniors/seniors to work for them, so i ended up didn't get that. but couple days after that interview, i got a call for job offer from dot, which i was really surprised because i didn't get interviewed from them and apparently they picked me out of 800 people?!?!? though i know that it might have been because the person who referred my resume to the HR person was my mom's friend, i know it's God's work because according to my mom, she barely knew that person and i only have met her like once briefly, for less than 10 minutes. but still, it's awesome!! a federal internship with a really good pay plus flexible end dates!! praise God!
For you have save a humble people,
but the haughty eyes you bring down.
For it is you who light my lamp;
the LORD my God lightens my darkness.
For by you I can run against a troop,
and by my God I can leap over a wall.
This God -- his way is perfect;
the word of the LORD proves true;
he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.
i hope that will encourage you in some way because it encouraged when i read it. =]
