"Take my life and let it be...."

i didn't really want to go to the senior concert tonight, i mean mainly because i know its gonna be really long, plus i don't know most of the people who were gonna sing tonight anyways, so its just gonna be weird. but since wendy asked, i guess i just went for her, though it was supposed to be for our friend who's gonna graduate this year.

when we got there, i didn't take a program, i mean, it's not like i know any of them anyways, plus its wasting paper (and i don't want to hold on to it...), but wendy took one, so i just borrowed hers to see what order is our friend gonna perform. suddenly, i was drawn to this unique name under the list of all members in chamber singers. unconsciously, i was trying to figure out what that person look like with that name the whole time during the concert. i didn't really pay attention to the concert as a result, and basically i was just thinking about that name in my mind. i don't know why i was doing that, and it just bothers me how i react to such little thing. now that i think of it, i actually react to many really little things that's related to that name, probably insignificant to certain extent. sometimes i would try to laugh it off myself because i feel really stupid about it, sometimes i would get into deep thoughts, trying to hunt back some memories, sometimes i would wonder what has been going on and feel the urge of bursting into tears. i think it has been like that for a while now, maybe it's not healthy/good for myself, but i'm not sure what to do about it. i'm kind of tired of it, i'm tired of having all this all to myself, its like keep filling up a water balloon, there's just so much you can fill in, and if you pass that limit, it will burst.

right now, i just want this as my prayer, i hope that God will help me to ask for all these from the bottom of my heart:

Take my life, and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days; let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands, and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet, and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice, and let me sing always, only, for my King.
Take my lips, and let them be filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold; not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect, and use every power as Thou shalt choose.

Take my will, and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart, it is Thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord, I pour at Thy feet its treasure store.
Take myself, and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.