have not updated ever since school starts, though it wasn't because of work load in the beginning of the month, things have been piling up for the past week. gone through various incidents, several new experiences, by God's grace, it has been a blessing for this past month. one is to be able to live with several my closest girlfriends under the same roof, cooking together, laughing our heads off (almost literally!!), sharing together, caring for each other, serving each other. our friendships have deepened more than before, even when i thought i knew them pretty well already! second would be the change in my relationship with my parents. since it has been very different to spend most of the week away from home, my parents have been treating me especially nice, and most importantly, they are more genuine and gentle when they share about what have happened during the week. i guess the most different and radical change is engaging in my first and serious relationship. adjusting to that fact has been little difficult to me, mainly because i felt like i have been holding back due to the fear from previous experiences, especially when i see how much jeff has put into this relationship, i felt guilty for not being able to do the same. thank God that jeff pointed out the most important thing is to realize that none of us deserve God's grace, and pointed me back to Christ that His grace is sufficient, and if God has put everything into place, He knows what He is doing and He is with us always along the way.

in terms of serving at KCM and church, i want to share the following verse that i read last week about for QT:

And I have given the Levites as a gift to Aaron and his sons from among the people of Israel, to do the service for the people of Israel at the tent of meeting and to make atonement for the people of Israel, that there may be no plague among the people of Israel when the people of Israel when the people of Israel come near the sanctuary. (Numbers 8:19)

often time, people think of serving as giving and sacrificing. but in this verse, God has said that serving people at church (or the Israelites in this case) is a gift given by God, it is something that we should be thankful for. second, being able to serve is by God's grace and God's will. we are chosen to serve and do God's work. and finally, serving should be a mean to draw God's people closer to Him instead of ourselves, to point people to God instead of us, to glorify His name instead of ours. with many things going on with KCM and church, sometimes i feel like pressures putting on top of my shoulder constantly, it almost seems like i was forced into those situations. but do we remember that it is a gift from God to be able to serve His people? do we remember our purpose is to point people back to Him and glorify His name? do we remember that God put us through difficulties and trials in order to draw us closer to Him? do we remember the cross? do we remember the gospel?

sometimes i feel like i need to look at the cross more intently before i start to even think of the thought of complaining.