i started this year with OIL (One In Love) retreat again. for some reasons, it felt different. maybe thats because i have a different expectation and mindset before i went compared to last year. nevertheless, God has once again blessed me and taught me so much through speakers and small group once again.
one of the things from OIL really convicted is when dr. zimmerman gave a sermon about changing and renewing from sinful habits. he listed 4 steps:
1) admission and confession - recognize the sin and repent in front of God
"For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me." - Psalm 51:3
2) recognition of grace - realize that God has already forgiven all our sins, from past, present, and future
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives. My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One." - 1 John 1:9 - 2:1
3) devotion to God - continually seek God in the Word and prayer, even when we dont feel like it
"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock." - Matthew 7:24
4) mission and action - apply what we learn from the Word and put them in action
"Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms." - 1 Peter 4:10
personally, i have been stuck in a self-centered cycle for the longest time. i would do step 1 & 2, repenting to God and knowing that God would forgive me, but then i kept going back to the same thing, making myself feel pathetic and sad over some unnecessary incidents. now that i realize its because i hadnt been devoted with all that i have. i made excuses to not read the Bible; i did prayed, except they were more of a chore-type of prayer. and i thought that would be enough to keep a relationship with God, but thats wrong. not to mention i didnt put what i learned from the Bible into action because i didnt read the Bible that much. its more like not putting effort to do so.
dr. zimmerman posted a question: do you really want to change? like REALLY? and i realized that deep down, i didnt really want to change, thats why i didnt put the effort to devote to God and act upon what we learn. honestly, i know all these, thats why a lot of time i felt like there is a war going on within myself. i know what im supposed to do, i know whats God wanting me to do, but physically i just couldnt do it because i didnt try my best to do so. i was basically just sitting there, expecting God will just come and do some miraculous things while im not doing anything. thats not what God wants, He wants us to give our all and do our best to work, to do our part, and He will work for the rest.
its like a parent helping his kids to make cookies. he knows that kids will make a mess while doing that, but he still desire them to enjoy the fun of making cookies, to enjoy the excitement while waiting for the cookies in the oven, enjoy the taste of cookies make by themselves. God doesnt want us to just sit there and wait for cookies, He wants us to join and enjoy the process too. He wants us to learn how and where the cookies come from, He wants to expertize on making cookies so that we can do the same to others: sharing the recipe, experiencing the excitement, practicing to be patient, enjoying the cookies at the end. i dont know if this is biblical, but thats how i think God has been speaking to me.
so do you want to make cookies with God? i know i want to. =]
When u commented, I was like, "hmm maybe angel updated too.." and I was right haha
hmmm I like the verses Angel,
"i think the only way we can experience God's grace more fully, which lead to passionate worship and desires to seek God, is the continuation of walking with Him." -Angel
This kinda relates doesn't it? to your blogpost?
Like wise, how your comment relates to your post, my comment will relate to my post...haha
We indeed need to play a role in our walk with God. We cannot just sit on the couch and wait for something miraculous. A sermon I just heard has a great quote about the Holy Spirit and grace:
"It's a way to take Truth and twist it to serve our laziness, isn't it. You see when we study God's Word. It tells us that we are absolutely dependent on the power of God to make our work effective, but it calls us to WORK" -Joshua Harris
In relation to my post:
But see, I realized, thats how I am supposed to approach God. HOPELESS.
Hopeless not only in terms of circumstance, that "Oh yeah I have no money, I have no family"
not only in terms of sin, "Oh yeah I can't stop sinning, I can't find a way to undo my sin"
but also in terms of, "Oh yeah I can't love God on my own. My desires don't seem to be changing"
So as you go and read the Bible, pray more, seek fellowship with God, not only is it by God's grace that you now realize that you should, but pray for more of His grace to have MORE of that desire. and through that, we are more indebted to God and therefore, we are dependent on God.
Remember that analogy with the baby? We are like babies, we are fully dependent on God for everything. But remember the quote, we are still called to work!
"i know what im supposed to do, i know whats God wanting me to do, but physically i just couldnt do it because i didnt try my best to do so. i was basically just sitting there, expecting God will just come and do some miraculous things while im not doing anything. thats not what God wants, He wants us to give our all and do our best to work, to do our part, and He will work for the rest."
I feel you on this one. Our apathy for God can be a scary realization but its also gracious a wake up call. Sometimes, even though we recognize that God is sovereign and, despite knowing that we aren't robots, we still expect God to do things for us. I know I've seen it like that; Gods in control so I'll just sit back and relax and let Him do His thing. Yes we know God is sovereign, yes we know He is in control, but we fail to recognize sometimes that He has a role for each of us to play. And although we don't feel like playing that role sometimes, lets pray for Him to give us a longing to do His will. Philippians 2:13 says "For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure". Let us also be reminded that these roles we have are from Him who works in us and not of ourselves. It's not that we are doing OUR part but we're just doing the part He GAVE us to do.
i like the cookie analogy, if your a kid making cookies, you definitely need patience haha
-VH