i started this year with OIL (One In Love) retreat again. for some reasons, it felt different. maybe thats because i have a different expectation and mindset before i went compared to last year. nevertheless, God has once again blessed me and taught me so much through speakers and small group once again.
one of the things from OIL really convicted is when dr. zimmerman gave a sermon about changing and renewing from sinful habits. he listed 4 steps:
1) admission and confession - recognize the sin and repent in front of God
"For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me." - Psalm 51:3
2) recognition of grace - realize that God has already forgiven all our sins, from past, present, and future
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives. My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One." - 1 John 1:9 - 2:1
3) devotion to God - continually seek God in the Word and prayer, even when we dont feel like it
"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock." - Matthew 7:24
4) mission and action - apply what we learn from the Word and put them in action
"Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms." - 1 Peter 4:10
personally, i have been stuck in a self-centered cycle for the longest time. i would do step 1 & 2, repenting to God and knowing that God would forgive me, but then i kept going back to the same thing, making myself feel pathetic and sad over some unnecessary incidents. now that i realize its because i hadnt been devoted with all that i have. i made excuses to not read the Bible; i did prayed, except they were more of a chore-type of prayer. and i thought that would be enough to keep a relationship with God, but thats wrong. not to mention i didnt put what i learned from the Bible into action because i didnt read the Bible that much. its more like not putting effort to do so.
dr. zimmerman posted a question: do you really want to change? like REALLY? and i realized that deep down, i didnt really want to change, thats why i didnt put the effort to devote to God and act upon what we learn. honestly, i know all these, thats why a lot of time i felt like there is a war going on within myself. i know what im supposed to do, i know whats God wanting me to do, but physically i just couldnt do it because i didnt try my best to do so. i was basically just sitting there, expecting God will just come and do some miraculous things while im not doing anything. thats not what God wants, He wants us to give our all and do our best to work, to do our part, and He will work for the rest.
its like a parent helping his kids to make cookies. he knows that kids will make a mess while doing that, but he still desire them to enjoy the fun of making cookies, to enjoy the excitement while waiting for the cookies in the oven, enjoy the taste of cookies make by themselves. God doesnt want us to just sit there and wait for cookies, He wants us to join and enjoy the process too. He wants us to learn how and where the cookies come from, He wants to expertize on making cookies so that we can do the same to others: sharing the recipe, experiencing the excitement, practicing to be patient, enjoying the cookies at the end. i dont know if this is biblical, but thats how i think God has been speaking to me.
so do you want to make cookies with God? i know i want to. =]
